Andrew Harmon




Ask Ava...
by Ava Black

Dear Ava,
My boyfriend has become obsessed with the idea of a threesome. We have been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years and he wants to “try new things”. Should I be outraged at the suggestion or simply insist on another man rather than woman? Are there any restrictions when involving a third party?
The More The Merrier?

I LOVE the idea of a threesome of me and two men. But let’s be honest, when a man suggests a threesome he is thinking only of himself and being with two women. When considering threesomes it needs to be something you BOTH want. Are you ok with him having sex with another woman? Will you see yourself differently if you enjoy being touched by a woman? Girl-on-girl action is a BIG part of your man’s fantasy. Is he willing to invite another man into the room for your enjoyment as well? Would you WANT that? And don’t just defensively say no. THINK about it and BE HONEST with yourself and with him. On the flip side, can you handle it? Once the night is over and you have both come down off your sexual high, will you look at him the same? Will you believe him when he says he loves you? All these questions will NEED to be answered and thoroughly before moving forward.

Sadly Merrier, I feel threesomes are best left OUT of loving relationships. Although not PC I think it’s best to experience threesomes with someone in a strictly sexual relationship or an affair. YES, an affair! This way no one gets mad about what the other person is doing. No one goes home crying because he / she seemed to enjoy the other person more than they enjoyed each other. This adventure is best reserved for two people who are not in love or looking to be anything more than physical. Intercourse, blow jobs, etc are all fair game. Once real emotions get involved it gets tricky. People say they can deal with it but they can’t. Who wants to see their man enter another woman? And I have yet to meet a man who is cool with just the thought of a man having sex with his woman. They can barely handle thinking about you being with an ex!

I think it’s a bad idea. ‘Try new things’ that will bring you closer together sexually rather than possibly make the initial rip in tearing you apart. If it becomes a bigger issue, then you should consider the depth of his ‘love’ and yours. A man who truly loves you would NEVER suggest a threesome. The mere suggestion is a red flag in the distance denoting the end of your relationship.
Choose wisely,


Dear Ava,
I am not gay and do not think about having sex with men but lately I have been dying to try anal sex (giving, not receiving). My girl is terrified and feels it’s for whores. Is this something that most women are against or secretly want to do? How can I convince her to let me in the backdoor?
Let Me In!

Anal sex is a tough one (no pun intended). You are not alone. Most guys want it. Men are quick to ‘accidentally’ poke us in the ass but let us get CLOSE to your nether regions and all of a sudden you’re standing upright butt clenched TIGHT. Asses are anatomically the same. Blindfolded, no grabbing of hips, would you be able to tell what that ass is attached to? NO! It all boils down to trust. Do some research. Don’t embarrass or pressure her. Find an article that describes it as ‘mind blowing’. Know what to do and HOW to do it cause make no mistake, it IS gonna hurt! Take your TIME and USE LUBRICANT!

It’s COMPLETELY her choice. She makes the rules for her body. Just know this decision will be made on a case by case, (or penis by penis) basis... cause size will most certainly matter.
Good Luck!


Dear Ava,
As a woman in my sexual prime (42), how can I be sexually satisfied without resorting to young guns? My boyfriend CANNOT keep up! How can I have a great relationship with still be satisfied sexually? I’m struggling to stay faithful and happy with the current state of affairs. Can you help?
Falling Short

Oh Falling Short, I have wondered the same thing. First – talk to him. He will not listen or believe you because TRUST, he thinks he is ‘putting it down’ (and maybe he is), but still let him know how you feel. Suggest cardio for stamina and weight lifting for...lifting your weight (cause we all love to be properly tossed). And after all of that just know...NONE OF IT WILL HELP OR MATTER!

A man being in shape helps with stamina, but it has NOTHING to do with the stamina of his penis. DID YOU HEAR THAT?! Let me say that ONE MORE TIME: A man can be in the BEST PHYSICAL SHAPE OF HIS LIFE (6 pack, and all) and his 40+ yr old penis will NOT reflect it! He STILL will not be able to keep up with you!

This is why I firmly believe women in their 40′s are SEXUAL PERFECTION for a man in HIS prime at 21-30. All the running, hiking, climbing, and lifting IN THE WORLD will change NOTHING below the waist for your man. His penis will always scream ‘I’m 42 and this chick is trying to kill me’! Nurture your age appropriate relationship fully, and get your cougar on in your spare time. Yes, I just encouraged you to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere! Face it - he will NEVER be able to keep up. Your prime will not last forever so go with it! What do you think our boyfriends did during THEIR prime? What’s good for the goose...
Get yours and STOP falling short!

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