by Ava Black
I am dating an amazing
man who drives me wild sexually and the feeling is mutual.
We have GREAT sex and I really have no complaints except we
never seem to reach orgasm at the same time. If he finishes
first, I am typically left unsatisfied or topping myself
off. What can we do to make sure we climax at the same time?
Seeking Simultaneous Satisfaction
Oh SSS, wouldnít it be great if things happened as easily in
real life as they do in the movies? You meet a guy, things
are electric and you are fighting to keep your hands to
yourself. Before you know it, youíre ripping each othersí
clothes off and against the nearest wall. A few moans and
groans later and you just experienced the most amazing and
exhausting orgasms of your life AT THE SAME TIME! Whew! Nice
Itís not impossible, but
itís highly unlikely to experience this with someone new, a
booty call (unless heís in regular rotation), or a youngin.
Orgasms of this magnitude are reserved for people who know
each other quite well, are willing to listen and learn from
each other, and arenít afraid to speak their minds before,
DURING, and after sex. The keyword for you is
Ďcommunicationí. There is absolutely NO WAY to achieve this
lofty goal of mutual and mind blowing orgasm without
initially talking and guiding each other through every
moment. The reality is, it generally takes 3-5 seconds for a
man to get an erection, and most women require some
attention before the moisture kicks in. Thereís no way to
sync those actions without open and honest conversation
about what works, what doesnít, and the ultimate goal.
It sounds like a lot but
trust me, itís SO worth the effort. Once it happens, you
will speak about it often, attempt to recreate it regularly,
and rarely will the memory resurface without Ďyour girlí
having her own tingling moment. I will say, attempting this
feat with a youngster (in his 20ís) could be futile. Greater
success will be found with a man who has mastered control
and can not only hold back, but simultaneously read your
sexual signals and know how close, or far, you are from
reaching the finish line.
Be warned, being whipped
is not cute. Success could make it hard to walk away from
even the most unacceptable behavior later on.
Enjoy the journey!
I just recently
started having sex with someone new and itís been good.
There is just one BIG problem, he will not go down on me. I
figured it Ďdidnít work outí the first few times, so I
finally asked and he confirmed he does not eat the ďkitty
katĒ. Of course he has NO problem with me slobbing him down
and swears Iím the best at it! Am I throwing away a good man
over something silly?
Ummm. YES! DEAL BREAKER!! I would have more sympathy for a
man who admittedly has issues with oral sex, ALL of it, and
recognizes it as a PROBLEM. But having issues with eating
but not receiving is just plain selfish. Itís more than a
deal breaker. His selfish nature runs deep and this will be
the least of it. He will never put you or your needs first
in any other area of your relationship either. Run, donít
walk, to the nearest exit!
Many women will never
reach orgasm any other way. He sounds like one of those men
who thinks he can just pound it out, literally, for about 20
minutes and be done. And TOO many women have accepted this
in his past and faked orgasms so he thinks heís Ďdoing the
damn thingí. Be the first women to let him know, heís not.
You will do him and the women after you a GREAT service to
stand your ground and keep it moving.
Take your skill set to
someone who appreciates you with proper reciprocation!
My girl is a hard nut to crack, literally. Prior to us being
physical she had not been with anyone in well over a year.
The problem? No matter WHAT I do I cannot get her to cum for
me. I eat, I suck, I lick, I play and NOTHING works. She
swears itís NEVER been a problem before and I feel so
horrible I let her bring toys and do it herself. I hate that
she can make herself cum in seconds when I can NEVER get her
there. Is it possible she has bruised herself for a real
I Donít Vibrate
Kudos to you for recognizing the problem and attempting to
fix it IDV! I firmly believe too much masturbation, with
toys, does INDEED desensitize the clit for the real deal.
But itís not hopeless.
Many women suffer from the oversaturation of the market to
purchase self satisfying toys and enhancements. Many even
keep micros close by for long trips and traffic! Seems
extreme but contrary to popular belief we LIKE orgasms and
we donít need them any less than the average man. Being
single does not dissipate the desire and vibrating
guarantees are hard to resist!
First things first, she
needs to stop using toys. COLD TURKEY. She will look at you
like youíre crazy, but she needs to only use her fingers.
Phone sex at night will help her sleep because sheís likely
become accustomed to having an orgasm before bed. When
youíre together, use your fingers together. Over time,
takeover and work up to your tongue (and no pointy stuff
ok?). It may take a while, but she can get the sensitivity
back and eventually it will all be up to you!
Patience is key.